It has been the best year of our lives. So different. So crazy. So sleepless. But more love than I could ever imagine and more joy that I could ever describe. More happiness. More laughter. More fun. More wonderful. Just the most and best and favorite. He’s just absolutely the best thing in the world.
Slow down Time. You are not welcome here.
I’ve come to catch myself crying over the idea of him growing up. I want to squish his little cheeks, feel his hands wound up in my clothes, and kiss his tiny toes forever. I love the smell of his soft, downy hair after a bath. I love rubbing his little belly and hearing his precious baby laugh. I love watching him explore and learn. I love cuddling him. I love rocking him to sleep. I love the glow of his big blue eyes at 4am. I love everything about him.
He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
When I prayed for him by name before I even was pregnant, I could feel his presence. I used to tell Ben I felt my heart grieving for the baby I knew I was supposed to have.
Now, everyday, I sing songs of praise, laugh with my little dude, and try to take in every inch, every grin, every memory. I hate when people tell me, “Just you wait until this or that or whatever”. I can wait; I like this moment. I like the everyday normal stuff. The feeding him waffles and watching him laugh as he tosses them to Ruby moments. I like the sitting on the floor and he crawls to my lap and we snuggle and play. I like the moments where I get to explore his little face and look in his little eyes.
My heart has grown in ways I never knew possible. I wish I could go back in time and give my infertile self a hug and tell her to just wait. Joy is just around the corner. His name is Sam.